Jesus Loves the Little Smokers, All the Little Smokers of the World

With Christmas soon approaching, there will be the inevitable parties and family gatherings. Most of us can think of “that guy” who will be there: the relative, neighbor or friend who laughs too loud, smokes too much, and says inappropriate things after having one too many. We will glance in his general direction and nervously laugh, sharing that knowing look with others. And yet, wouldn’t it sometimes be nice to be him? Subverting social conventions and being our awkward and often irreverent selves?

In our media-saturated culture, we are daily inundated with advertisements of well-put-together people. They always have the witty phrase, the perfect smile, and the right look. Chained to a culture that values a great first impression, the carefully-turned phrase, and perfectly-presented self, we are made to be perpetually anxious about ourselves. From our clothing and the car we drive to the whiteness of our teeth and six-packness of our abs, our best efforts are rarely good enough. Stuck in the middle of this, many of us strongly desire a community where we can be authentic: a place to stumble over words, a place to let the polish fall, and a place to share that together with others.

Authenticity is hard to pin down, though. What are the marks of an authentic person? My friend Michelle once told me that she trusted Christians more who swear. She felt that if people are willing to swear, they are likely to be speaking more honestly than a lot of the other Christians she had meet before. I often feel more comfortable around Christians with whom I can smoke or have a few beers. It signifies that we are on the same page about Christianity, seeing faith as something that frees us to live rather than conform us to a narrow understanding of Christian spirituality.

When I first read Donald Miller’s Blue like Jazz, I was struck by the Christians he described: the girl who had cigarettes and chocolate while reading the Bible, the pastor who cussed occasionally when he spoke, and even the author’s own account of having a beer with some hippies while talking philosophy. There was a freedom, an authenticity to speak and live that was refreshing. I could start to like these people. This new approach was for me and many others a shift, even a confirmation of what we hoped; there was a greater freedom to live and express ourselves than we have been told or had modeled for us. Christians can cuss, smoke, and drink all while having non-religious thoughts on Christian spirituality.

The quest for the measure of an authentic Christian had been answered. Those who chose freedom over social conventions were those who had come to understand the true nature of our faith. Bridges could be built with those who were put off by Christian stereotypes. A sense of respect for Christians and our faith could be restored, even making Christianity more attractive and accessible. We would set ourselves apart from those Christians who were still caught up in rules and regulations.

These ideas sound strangely familiar, though. They are the same ideas of being set apart simply by behavioral habits, setting up criteria for how we may judge who the most spiritual Christians were. Once again, a stereotype of a “good” Christian is created and those who do not measure up are on the outside. Therein lies the sticking point. How can we recast the common expression of our faith without judging someone merely on the behavioral conventions?

We must do more than just adopt external signs of faith; we should strive to live authentically. The challenge lies in trying to speak with candor and purposefulness. Allowing people to express themselves authentically does not require or exclude the use of profanity; it is good to be reminded that we can just as easily hide behind those words as we do more culturally appropriate ones. Likewise, good conversation can happen with or without a cigarette or a six-pack. Instead of simply living in reaction to what most of us have known, what if we had a true pursuit of what it means to live authentically as Christians? It is easy to spike our conversations with cursing, buy a pack of cigarettes, or a six-pack of beer, but if we truly desire to live authentically as Christians, the dialogue should continue about what it means to live as followers of Christ. We must keep in mind that many people are simply looking for a place where they can be their awkward and often complicated selves. Creating a new ideal with criteria for “cool” or most “spiritual” will again alienate people who are simply looking for a place to be the person they are. We should therefore not limit ourselves to any set of behavioral norms, but instead choose to communicate our authenticity by living in a way that reflects the depth of the truth we have been given.